Garrett Hawke a life model as a dead and blind nug
by Eliot Nightray
Summary: In a Kirkwall that has not yet seen the birth of its Champion, the lives of three families are intertwined: Hawke, Trevelyan and Lavellan.
1. A drunk nug

So why exactly was he there. Garrett had been asking himself this exact same question for a while. At the seventh pint of beer, with shortness of breath and his stomach in an uproar, Hawke was sure he would fall to the ground shortly. Probably if someone had robbed him or held him up as an apostate, he would have asked for another round of beers such was his mood. So why was he there, again in that hovel abandoned by the Creator to brown his teeth on a chipped and messy mug. He leaned his forehead against the wood, a splinter stuck in his nose, but he could only perceive it. The next day his nose would have something to say, Anders would probably have mocked him for the umpteenth time. He had always been too reckless as a boy, too silly, too stupid. It suited him well, an outward appearance of a big dickhead to hide the nature of a man too afraid of his own shadow. Someone could have argued "because no one who does not believe enough in himself can have such a thriving following of women", something similar. But Hawke had learned in his own way that people could only fill their mouths with bullshit and his own shot enough of his own, without anyone suggesting any more. Something cold approached his temple, Garrett turned his head grunting between a puke of vomit. He could not fail to recognize Varric's face in the state he was in, indeed from the first impression he seemed to see a young dwarf with rough but still enchanting features.

"Hawke, how the fuck did you get down?"

Another exciting question to add to the list. List that was starting to get longer. Why was it so reduced? How did he get in there? Getting carried away by Varric was complicated, considering that his height was more than double the dwarf. He rubbed his feet on the ground, nibbling his tongue from time to time, so as to keep himself awake. He tried to mumble something in response to questions from his friend who at his head so darkened seemed to be punctuated with the speed of an antivano mandolin.

The reason why he had dragged himself to the Hanged Man was suddenly clear to him when he glimpsed the figure of his brother in the doorway. Carver and his redundant mass of muscles were waiting for him, with a dull smile. He couldn't quite tell if he was happy to see him alive or simply in that state. Staggering on his legs, he pushed himself on Varric's shoulder to get to his feet. A few hours earlier he had found himself at the hands of Carver, he didn't want him on the expedition to the Deep Ways. It was too dangerous and the mother had agreed with him. "I've already lost a son," that phrase had triggered such a blinding rage in Garrett that he had hurried out of the house, with a wrinkled cloak over his shoulders. How many times had he heard his mother throw up petty words and accusations against him for Bethany's death. He even came to think that he would have preferred him instead of his sister in the hands of the ogre.

From the state in which he was put he could not even hear his mother's words, although Leandra was busy to keep his eyes open. He had perceived an "excuse" here and there, perhaps even a "forgive me". All very nice of course, but he just wanted to jump on the bed and hope not to die drowned in vomiting. He just wanted this, put a stone on it and try to avoid the lice dancers in the bed. He narrowed his eyes, he could almost see the small insects twirling between tiny hooves. Yes, his head was really shaking or otherwise he had gone too far. He had gone so far for what? For one sentence, the usual one that occasionally jumped in the middle of some speech. How the Creator had hitherto prevented him from raising his hands on Carver, Hawke did not know. Certainly there had to be some divine force behind it, Andraste herself was making fun of him.

The next morning he had his eyes attached, his mouth kneaded and his throat dry. His mother must have gone back and forth in his room, because when he finally managed to open his eyelids he found her in front of him. She knelt before him, his hands trembled

«Honey are you okay?»

«I'm the portrait of health, can't you see?»

«Garrett ...»

«I'm just saying you should keep the door closed, never let a young maiden see me, she could lose her head for me. I'm not ready to get married yet «

«For the Maker»

«It was not he who reduced me thus. I distinctly remember a little voice in my head that whispered to me to pour again, but it wasn't him. Well, unless the Maker has the features of a dwarf without an eye »

«Please»

«Maybe she was a dwarf.»

«You can deign to talk to me, I'm your mother»

«And this is again the overwhelming evidence of the obvious»

«Mother, why do you insist so much?» Carver stretched his neck, judging by the dirt on his cheek he must have been forced to sleep on the ground. Hawke rejoiced at the idea that his stunt had cost his brother so much

«But look there is also the asshole. I always find it exciting how in this family the only one who kicks his ass and balls, who splits his back and who is still blamed for Bethany's death is the only one who has to put up with a speech » he pulled up with his nose, rubbing his face with a wet rag

«Garrett you were rash»

«You always said that, mother,» he stood up, exhaling forcefully. «I didn't want to worry you, I'm sorry.»

«No Garrett, I'm the one who should apologize,» his mother moved closer to him, squeezing his head gently. He would never have been able to get angry with her, not to the point of rejecting physical contact «you just wanted to protect your brother»

«I haven't changed my mind about it, you'll stay at the home, Carver. Losing one sibling was more then enought for me» his brother tapped his foot.

According to Garrett, Carver could have been dancing all night with those little feet he had, but he wouldn't have brought him with him. Anders had been clear, that place was too dangerous. He would put his life on the plate, his alone. He was still an apostate mage, it was already a big problem for his family. Not that he had no intention of dying, ah no he loved life too much. They would have heard of Garrett Hawke in every corner of the Free Marches. If necessary he would have hidden himself under every single rock to whisper his name to some unsuspecting traveler.

He rummaged a hand through his hair, dipped his head in a tub of cold water and kissed his mother. He was sure he still smelled like cheap beer and nug shit, but he didn't have a gallant meeting to attend. Because his expeditions in Low town were not exactly a romantic walk. Outside the door, intent on oiling the crossbow, Varric stood. The usual light-hearted smile

«So, I assume you've recovered»

«Well, presume, even if I'm sorry I didn't get drunk so much that I could have a valid justification for hitting Carver. Repeatedly, between the eyes »

«You know how he is, he just wants to be like you»

«Oh no, he doesn't want to be me. He's just angry because he still doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. I would be willing to listen to him, but for him I am only a gigantic boulder to overcome and he believes that my shadow is suffocating. Shadow of what I say. What would I have done so great? Unless I have a second personality or a spirit in my ass, I'm pretty sure I've limited myself to doing normal things. There is always the option of sleepwalking »

«It is always lying in wait»

«Maybe that while I was sleepwalking i saved the Theadas from a giant spider in the fade»

«Why a giant spider»

«All that hair»

«Hey» Varric stroked his chest with a grimace of disappointment «what's wrong with the hair?»

«Against yours nothing. They are a gift from the Maker that should rest next to Andraste's ashes »

«Ah, I always do this effect»

«Have you ever thought of proposing Anders to put them in one of his potions, I bet they have mysterious healing qualities»

Anders hospital was empty, but the healer was at the door. There was a grimace of pure disappointment on his thin, thin face. Hawke and Varric paraded in front of him and the mage simply raised his hand imperceptibly, almost not considering them. It was not quite a suitable morning for Garrett, but finding that Anders had some object of desire had brought a ray of sunshine into the day. Rather than go inside, he lurked with Anders.

«If you are looking for tonics they are inside, third shelf on the left»

«How can you say I need tonics?»

«First point you smell of alcohol and vomiting, second if you arrive so early in my hospital it is always to make me plug some holes and third Isabela told me about your stunt last night»

«I'm the news of the day and it's not even lunchtime.» Garrett let out a chuckle, but immediately returned to Anders's gaze. So focused on the stairs in front of his hospital. The first time he had seen Anders he had wondered what trick he had managed to light his eyes. His mind ended up thinking about the witch of the wilde, Flemmeth. He had felt like a common mage, Anders could turn on and off like a torch and the witch was capable of turning into a dragon. « Didn't Justice make you sleep for a while? It was unleashed in a kind of party with strange lights or there is something particularly interesting outside the door »

«She is late»

«Who? »

«She, » said the other, punching his hips, «is late, a damned delayed. » Garrett had to admit that he had arrived early. In the months following their meeting Hawke had started to find remains of hot meals, bread, buns, sometimes some sweets. The first times on the ground, thrown to the dogs and then later well hidden among Anders' private shelves. He suspected that things were somehow related. «she will end up crawling to the door or worse I will have to go to High Town to find out where she is. Knowing her, last night she ended fighting someone »

«Let's go in order» Garrett laid his hands in front of Anders face «We are talking about a girl, a noblewoman moreover. A noblewoman who comes down here to be treated by you »

«She's not a girl»

«But you said»

«She is a Templar» Garrett froze «she was a Templar. Shee was stationed at the circle where I lived »

«The one you ran away from»

«Exactly»

«Anders, did she hurt you? » Garrett's voice became threatening, the healer was his friend and certainly wouldn't allow anyone to hurt him

«She has never hurt a mage. They called her Viper because she helped the needy, mages or templars with no exception. She has never hurt me » Garrett swore he saw a slight blush on the warden's cheeks « her brother and I are friends »

«Ah, so she's not a miniature of Meredith»

«Not at all»

«And she should be here because ...»

«Because she has a strong Lyrium abstinence. I'm helping her as I can »

«Ah, so you do it 'cause you know her brother»

«Yup»

«But she was a Templar»

«Yup»

«Is she the one who brings you that stuff to eat in the morning? You know those goodies that you keep hidden every time I pass »

«She prepares them to thank me»

«And you're at the door waiting for her»

«Obviously, she hasn't shown up yet»

«Are you worried?»

«Why should I, she was a Templar»

«Well you don't wait for all your patients at the door like a disconsolate maiden waiting for her husband to return from war»

«Blondie» Varric was about to choke on his saliva «isn't it that you have a crush on her?»

«Who? I? Of a fucking Templar» a dark figure began to climb the stairs « it took you forever » The figure stopped, challenging the hood. She was a blond-haired girl with large intense green eyes. She seemed hunched, lyrium abstinence was to be felt highly in the morning. She had a slender body, typical of a warrior. Firm thighs, flat stomach and abundant breasts where Garrett lost himself on

«Can i» Hawke whispered to Anders, who had not yet lost that grim and unfriendly attitude of his «propose to fuck the Templar, please. Use me as a sacrificial victim »

«Hawke, no» Anders teased him, he had the impression that the healer's hands had warmed up

«Hawke yes. She's not your girlfriend and you don't like her. It's show time »

«Forgive me Anders» she had a sweet, honeyed voice. Anders turned his back on her, stepping inside but stood still as if making sure she was about to enter. Oh yes, a novelty like that would have brought some "life" before the departure. She was particularly tall for being a woman, almost as tall as him. She smiled at him and held out her hand. Limb that Anders hastened to lower down

«Don't bother my patients, Trevelyan»


	2. A blonde Nug

For too long Garrett had thought he should have died in Bethany's place. She was a loving, sunny girl, full of life. She had sacrificed her life to save him and he was taking advantage of the opportunity to shrink like a lot of nug shit through the streets of the lower city. It wasn't going to be a happy morning, but he could always have his eyes on the new arrival. She had the hair of a light blond he had only seen in the expanses of wheat outside Denerim, eyes as green and shiny as precious malachite, pale alabaster skin. She had a sturdy body and it took him more concentration than necessary to convince himself to move his eyes from the ripples of her shirt

«Forgive me serah» The woman in front of Garrett snorted loudly, placing a tuft of hair behind her ear «I'm afraid my presence spoiled Anders' good mood»

«Why, does the blondie ever smile?» Varric took a step forward holding out his hand «Varric Tethras, writer, adventurer and spare time merchant»

«Forgive me, my vision is a little blurred this morning. My name is Lady Mordred Trevelyan. Your crossbow » Trevelyan pointed to Bianca, her eyes became bright« i have never seen such a precious object. Tell me how much its range is, what types of armor can penetrate. If only Boromir was here with us he would be so fascinated »

«You look like someone who knows a lot about weapons» Varric stroked Bianca before placing it on the Trevelyan's hands

«Well I have an armed gang with which I help anyone who is in difficulty, certainly my archer, Boromir, would be amazed by this mechanical marvel»

«Don't you have any other names? Nobles have lots of names» Garrett broke into the speech with a smile and the woman imitated him in return. He could feel Anders kicking on the spot, the healer was still turning his back on her

«Yeah they are too many, every now and then I forget them. You cannot understand the embarrassment Not that my name is so common in the Free Marches anyway. You certainly don't know. » Garrett curled his head curiously.« Your accent has exposed you »

«Is it so strong?»

«Oh no, not at all. It's just that I find the sound of the Fereldian accent particularly sweet, my dearest friend is from Altura Perenne »

« Just like the queen!» Garrett brought up the royal to have a laugh, but Trevelyan's proud smile silenced him «oh fuck»

«We were friends before she was crowned. Saved my life during the attack at the Circle tower "

«Anders told us you were a Templar»

«I guess you are a mage» Garrett became wary, Anders had told him that she was not a mini Meredith and certainly the healer would not have trusted a random templar. «Forgive me but it was mere deduction. There are only two types of people who get so dark in the face to discover that I was a Templar: my old comrades and mages. I have no interest in attacking you, I have always defended the rights of mages »

«But you were a Templar, a bit like saying that a cat wants to save a mouse from other felines»

«Her brother, Marcus, is a mage» Anders still hadn't turned around, he had just moved around the table investing all his concentration on some colored vials.

« You mean your friend.» Anders nodded at Garrett's comment

«I never wanted him to end up in a circle, we always lived in total freedom in Ostwick» Mordred grabbed her arm, narrowing her eyes «We were hunted down, our father decided that the best solution was to run away in a circle. He wanted to keep us safe »

«From who?»

«Garrett.» Anders called back, but he was too curious

«My uncle, Bann Trevelyan. in short, he would like to take revenge on my father. I was born from an affair betwen my mother and my father» Mordred brushed aside a tuft of hair and this time Garrett saw her ear in the light of the torch just behind. It was disfigured, missing part of the lobe with a red mark on the rest. Her gaze grew colder «I always find it incredible to see how human beings are attracted to death, leave a corpse on the street and they will pile up around it like flies on a shit» Garrett shook his head, as if wanting to apologize

«I do not»

«Please, you wanted to look, don't try to ridicule my intellect. I prefer you to be sincere so that I can satisfy your curiosity without the need to go back to the subject again » Garrett swallowed, one of Anders' flasks jingled on the table « My uncle believed that I was an excellent tool to vent his anger and practice his revenge. So he spent the years torturing me, he left me this scar when I was eight years old with others. Before you ask me, my uncle is a mage»

«But your father»

«My father couldn't do anything, his hands were bound. If he had freed me when i was a child, Bann would have unleashed the Templars against Marcus »

«You suffered and endured for your brother,» the conclusion struck Garrett like a bolt of lightning

«I resisted for my family, we ran away that I was sixteen. I would suffer everything again just to be with them, everything he did to me. I really didn't want Marcus to end up in a circle. »Garrett looked at her with admiration

«You are a strong woman and a nice person»

«Thanks» Garrett saw her narrowing her eyes in pain and when she made the act of collapsing he tried to hold her but he was dodged badly by Anders, who hastened to support her

«I told you to come earlier to avoid relapses»

«Forgive me Anders»

«You always say that, but in the end I have to come and pick you up at the Hanged man»

«Those templars had looked for it»

«Shut up, please»

«Do you like the Hanged man?» Garrett peeked back into the conversation, this time Anders didn't skimp from squaring him in a bad way

«Well I prefer the taverns of the commoner, these are more vital and funny»

«So how about going with me tonight?»

«What?» Anders lifted her more, carrying an arm over her shoulder. «You still smell like vomit and rum, Garrett.»

«Nothing a hot bath can't take away»

«Why not» Mordred sat down in a chair, rubbing her temples

«Why not?» Anders mimicked her «you've known him for two minutes»

«He didn't invite me to roll my head in the public square. In addition, serah Hawke seems an interesting person » the elven herb vial slipped from Anders' hands, breaking into a thousand pieces «Will you also be present, Master Tethras? I'd like to ask you more questions about Bianca. » As the woman continued her speech, Garrett found Anders' eyes on him. To say he looked pissed off would have been like calling Meredith a peaceful woman. He was furious, but Garrett had been careful and Anders had not said he had a crush on her or some form of attraction

«I'm coming too.» Anders left a vial on her hand

«Blondie…»

«I can come, right? I'm invited too, for once I want to go and see what you do in such a place »

«But Anders» Mordred looked worriedly at the healer «you hate crowded places»

«Don't worry about my health, Trevelyan,» the woman released an exhausted and disconsolate sigh before getting up badly on her legs. From under the cloak she pulled out a package wrapped in cloth

«I bet you forgot to eat again last night, it's fresh bread. It took me longer because the fire didn't want to cooperate » She walked towards the door with long strides « With permission, I leave you to your business. See you later.» When she was completely gone, Garrett returned to Anders and the package

«I didn't have time to have breakfast»

«You should start to have some respect for the property of others as well as for yourself, this bread is mine» Anders took a bite of the small form of bread and Garrett chuckled again

«So I can seduce her…»

«It's none of my business with who you end up in bed and in any case you really need to wash yourself, you smell like a wet dog»

«Maybe you meant like a dog drunk and wet»

«When will you stop getting drunk this way»

«Probably the day my mom and my brother will stop making me weigh that Bethany is dead and I'm still alive. I don't know what is holding me back from setting fire to Carver»

«Well he's your brother»

«Fuck off Varric, it's not that like good blood flows between you and your brother» Varric shrugged and started polishing Bianca «Let's try to move, Aveline asked me to take a look at a missing patrol. Something like that»

«Evaluating your innate memory, she probably asked you to look after a house or in any case something very different from what you reported» at Anders' joke followed a loud laught of Garrett «Let's go back to Aveline, just to be sure»

«How is it that your mood has returned so shiny since she left? Were you afraid I would take her away from you? »

Anders did not reply, he simply adjusted his feather cape. But Garrett had been sincere, the day they stopped making him weigh that he was still alive he would have stoped drinking. He would have bought an activity, preferably something not to detonate, and settle in the city. The stench of rancid and dirt from the lower city reached him like a slap in the face. Certainly they would not let him enter the barrack tanned in that way, also because he suspected that perhaps all that stench came from his body rather than from the junk on the ground. It didn't take long to convince Varric to let him take a hot bath, even though Anders preferred to stay outside waiting for them as if he hoped to see someone pass through the streets of high town

«Is he stupid or what?» Varric approached him while Garrett began to change. He had long had the habit of leaving a change at his friend's house, wearing Varric's clothes would have been somewhat uncomfortable.

«Who are you talking about? Ultimately I think I'm surrounded only by idiots, so you should be more explicit »

«Blondie»

«Well maybe he just doesn't like her»

«Come on, he watched her with such eyes sweet all the time»

«Varric I already have too many problems of mine, I can't solve Anders' love crisis too. An Aveline with a marriadge proposal would be the last piece to crown this romantic picture »Hawke grunted unable to resist anymore« Fuck, I damn want to annoy him »

«Who can stop you?»

«You're thinking of torturing him for weeks,» the dwarf nodded and Garrett gloated on the spot, cracking his fingers. «Thank you Maker for this little gift,» he entered the corridor, finding himself in front of Anders confused, intent on spying on one of the Templars in front of the gallows. He immediately recognized Captain Cullen, he thought it was somehow due to his friend's resentment for the Templars «What is so beautiful about our captain this morning? I guessed you like blondes »

«Nothing important, come on.» Anders quickened his pace and Garrett cut his way

«Come on, you can tell me»

«Agree, but promise me that after you will stop asking questions» Garrett put a hand on his heart and Anders resumed «She came here for him» in saying the warden seemed saddened, almost weakened by the news

«They know each other?»

«They were both stationed in my circle»

«They were lovers then»

«What?» Anders ran a hand over his face, pinching his nose «Absolutely not, she had never anyone»

«Does she prefer women? Please tell me no, I can always borrow a dress from Aveline. Maybe i could cut my beard. I would be a credible woman »

«You would be a horrible woman»

«Naughty!» Garrett's falsetto voice tore yet another disconsolate smile from Anders

«It's complicated, she will tell you if she wants. She is not a simple woman»

«So our Cullen, the captain with a stuff in his ass, had a crush on her?»

«For her it was and is only a friendship,» the healer hurriedly pointed out «But it was evident that he loved her, as half the Circle » Garrett's eyes became shiny, like those of a dog. He wanted to know more «To make a it short, he is her friend and she had heard about his move to Kirkwall .»

«So you're afraid of what he is going to do?175

«He wouldn't ask her if she had breakfast, let alone kiss her or worse»

«I admit that she would be the one Templar from whom I would like to be blessed»

«What»

«Well, if the left tit is called the Creator and the right one Andraste, I would be happy to spend time praying there in the middle»

«Oh please Hawke»

«What do you expect? Wait for Bela to see her. Not to mention the sweet death that would await me if I were simultaneously embraced by the Rivaini and your blonde »

«She is not my blonde»

«Yes, very true. So nothing emerges beyond justice when you see her »

«What»

«You once told me that Justice emerges whenever you find yourself in the presence of a Templar» Anders was serious, but he hit his forehead with the palm of his hand when he sensed the turn of the speech «So beyond Justice does anything else emerge?»

«Hawke, you're a depraved man»

«A depraved poetic you meant,» added Varric, who had remained silent enjoying the whole conversation

«I will not answer your question, but she has already met Justice»

«Oh yes»

«Yeah, i was almost killed by her brother when he spotted Justice. I »Anders resumed on foot, for a while remained silent« The day we met, she saved me from some Templars, but when I recognized her, Justice merged and tried to kill her. Marcus managed to make me come to my senses, thanks to Andraste »Garrett smiled, if nothing else Anders had admitted to being happy that she was alive « Anyway better to hurry up and reach Aveline, I have too many commitments »y better to hurry up and reach Aveline, I have too many commitments »/p


End file.
